Thursday 19 September 2013

Batman vs. Superman: 5 Characters Justin Bieber Should Definitely Play

The internet was rocked recently when new evidence emerged that Justin Bieber would potentially appear in 'Man of Steel' sequel 'Batman vs. Superman'. After months and months of worrying press releases that made the film look like it was going to be an inept nugget of bat-dropping things are finally looking up for this production.
Batman vs Superman is a project whose pre-production process has been one littered with negative feedback and poor fan-reactions. From the casting of trained, seasoned actor Ben Afflek as Batman to the fact that it had to follow that piece of cinematic drivel Man of Steel we ask the question today how best can Warner Brothers Studios harness the eclectic talent of the famed Canadian artist?

Here are but five suggestions of cherished comic characters that Bieber will no doubt elevate to a whole new realm of perfection.

5. Jimmy Olsen


When you think of Justin Bieber what are the first two words that come to mind? No, not 'lyrical genius' we're talking about the words 'lovable scamp' and therefore instantly any Superman fan worth his(/er) salt will know that the perfect casting for the Canadian singer/ songwriter is the hapless ally of Superman, Jimmy Olsen.

Olsen is a photographer for the Daily Planet, a young man who even had his own comic run for many years under the title of ‘Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen’ in which Olsen would often put on one of many ingenious disguises in order to solve chin-scratching mysteries. We feel that Bieber would update this part into a modern day Hardy-Boy and would even justify an entire sub plot of his own in the film!


4. Robin (Jason Todd)

The second Robin was also the shortest lived. In fact he died in the panels of Batman comics. We think that if Bieber were to be shown dying on screen then the misery levels of the audience would be cranked up to eleven. Bieber is the one actor who could make this deep and fascinating character’s death even more awful!


3. Robin (Carrie Kelley)

Carrie Kelly may be the second Robin on this list but that’s not because we see Bieber as an irritating sidekick, no it’s because Bieber’s sticky-uppy blond hair matches the hair of the young woman who appeared in ‘The Dark Knight Returns’. What’s more, ‘The Dark Knight Returns’ is the book rumoured to be the source material for the ‘Batman vs. Superman’ film, it’s like they planned this!


2. Police Chief O’Hara

Who isn’t aware of the masterfully made Batman television show of the 1960s? Starring Adam West and Burt Ward as Batman and Robin - this series also gave a starring role to another timeless Batman character, Police Chief O’Hara. O’Hara was the sidekick to police Chief Commissioner Gordon and offered many a hilarious anecdote to keep the show lively and fun. We think that the potential casting of Bieber reflects the same amount of care and devotion to the Batman name that was shown in the production of the 1960s Batman series and so believe that Bieber could fill the shoes of the Police Chief nicely!


1. Reporter 1

Not one of the better known characters from Superman mythology but Reporter 1 is an important part in Superman (1978), the original Superman feature film. Played by Gavin and Stacey’s Larry Lamb the nuanced character in fact had no lines but we believe that just for Justin the writers will beef out this part. Adding in a few lines here and a bit of a back story there, whatever the part however we know that our Justin Bieber will bring his A-game and the cinematic world of the DC universe will never be the same again!

Monday 11 February 2013


Doctor Who has Become too Much Like Twilight… Really?

How many people in the past year and a half have been subjected to those numerous complaints about Moffat’s take on Doctor Who? I for one am surrounded by people telling me ‘the scripts are just not as good’, that ‘Smith doesn’t live up to his predecessor’ and that ‘the characters are just not that likable.’ I for one see each of these arguments as nothing more than opinion and you can’t argue with peoples’ opinions… I’ve tried. The result is a black eye. But one level-headed argument I’ve heard increasingly often of late is the infuriating claim that Doctor Who is too much like Twilight.


Twilight itself has become short-hand for ‘bad writing’ in a pop-cultural context, at least among those of us who don’t throw on a black cloak and stalk Robert Pattison in a pair of fake pointy teeth but I’m not writing to take a cheap swipe at obsessive fanatics, I after all am writing an online article on my favourite television series so I’ll press on and take you through the logic behind the ‘Twilight Argument’.

Twilight, for those of you not in the know tells the tale of Isabella Swann, an outsider who falls in highly reciprocated love with teen-hottie vampire, Edward Cullen. She later discovers that her teen-hottie BFF Jacob also harbors deep-seated feelings for her. Finally, after much angst Bella chooses to marry Edward whilst their offspring ends up with Jacob (I haven’t seen or read the final instalment of the Twilight saga but I’m informed that this is just as sinister as it sounds)…

Now, take a look at the Pond-saga through Twilight-tinted spectacles… Amy, a young woman living in England meets an exciting older man towards whom she has certain ‘special’ feelings and finds she must choose between a life with him or a life with her boyfriend. Both men possess superhuman powers (at least if you count Rory’s uncanny knack for returning to life after being erased from existence). After choosing to marry Rory, their offspring ends up with the unchosen third wheel the Doctor.



So, with an open mind I guess anyone would recognise a few similarities in a couple of superficial plot points but I never really looked at it like that before because I always interpreted the meanings and themes of the two stories in entirely different ways. With the character of Amy, in The Eleventh Hour we meet a girl whose life has essentially been ruined by the Doctor. He fell into her life when she was lonely and parentless which lead to him filling, in her mind the part of a replacement father-figure or cool older brother who had come to protect and provide her with some much needed familial love. Over the years her love for him became obsessive and twisted in her mind meaning she could never get over the idea that he would one day come back for her meaning that she could never really grow up and live a life with Rory when she always believed in her heart that her father/ cool older brother would come back and take her off with him to see the stars.



Already, we can see a difference between the nature of the love triangles in Doctor Who and Twilight. Bella is in obsessive love with Edward Cullen, Amy isn’t in love with the Doctor. She idolises him, yes but that isn’t the same thing. When the Doctor comes back for her, her emotions are confused further. She loves Rory but she has built the Doctor up in her mind as the ideal man (women, it is said often marry men similar in character to their own fathers) so she feels like she has been making do with Rory and attempts to live her childhood dream by travelling in the stars with her ideal man towards whom she has such strong emotions.



 She later makes advances on the Doctor (at the end of Flesh and Stone) because she needs someone to comfort her, she needs reassurance and wants to feel connected after the terrible experience that she went through episode and the Doctor is just there. She is confused, mixing up her fatherly protector love for the doctor with a romantic passion. This is why the Doctor brings Rory on board so she will have someone to comfort and protect her in his place for the Doctor never had Cullen-esque feelings for Amy. He sees her as the little girl he met in The Eleventh Hour.

‘Doctor: Coming?
Amy: No.
Doctor: You Wanted to come 14 years ago…
Amy: I grew up!
Doctor: Don’t worry, I’ll soon fix that.’
From The Eleventh Hour by Steven Moffat.



Now fatherly love, many might say makes the Amy’s advances and her impending choice a tad sinister but I think there has been a great deal of misinterpretation on the part of certain viewers. Take, for example the story Amy's Choice away from which, I feel many people take the wrong message. It's not that Amy has to choose which boyfriend to go out with, if it were I’m sure I’d sympathise far more with the boys who cry ‘Twilight!’ it's that she has to choose between two ways of life. Does she want to be pregnant in Leadworth or playing with her imaginary childhood friend in space? She needs to choose whether to grow up or not.

Amy’s arc, I feel is concluded in The God Complex when we see how Amy's blind faith in the Doctor is damaging to her very life. She will never be able to grow up and live that life with Rory unless she accepts that the Doctor is not the man that she has idolised him to be. A hugely important moment in a child's life is when s/he learns that their parents are imperfect beings, a moment that will allow them to stop clinging on to the coat tails and start looking after themselves and this moment comes for Amy in The God Complex. She goes off to live a life with Rory. She, in short grows up.  

‘Doctor: Forget your faith in me. I took you with me because I was vain because I wanted to be adored. Look at you, you’re glorious, Pond. The girl who waited for me. I’m not a hero. I really am just a mad man in a box. And its time we saw each other as we really are.
Amy Williams’.
From The God Complex by Toby Whithouse

So, at the end of the day Amy's choice is one between Growing up and staying a child. Bella's is between Jacob and Edward which sexy supernatural does she want to end up with? Perhaps Twilight deserves to be criticised, perhaps its an underappreciated masterpiece but in the end saying something has a similar plot to Twilight isn’t a truly insightful or valid criticism for the Love Triangle is an age old literary staple so there will be various similarities whenever it comes up. But when the love triangle might represent maturity and childishness, denial and acceptance, love and idolisation you can bet that it means Doctor Who is far more than just a cheap Twilight knock off.